I am s l o w l y losing a grip on reality.
I walked out of my job after I saw one too many kids being left with fifteen year old students, with no CRBs, no qualifications, and absolutely no common sense. I saw staff being reduced to tears by a manager who was nothing less than a bully, I saw higher management turn a blind eye.. And so, I told the MD that I was frankly too good for her sham of a company, and walked right out of the door – fairly confident that I’d find another job easily.
Unfortunately, I picked the wrong time of year to walk out of childcare. The new school year is starting, and all the jobs have been taken. So, I’m relying on agency work – the kind where they phone you at 6am and ask you to go teach a class of 25 preschoolers at 8am, the same day. It’s not working out so well..
And so, in the realm of unemployment, I’m slowly going mad. My house is absolutely spotless (I even dusted the lampshades yesterday, for fucks sake), I’m actually cooking (real, proper food, that wasn’t bought from a supermarket), and I’ve applied for more jobs than I have ever done in my life. At least, that’s how it started. Now, I’ve become a regular slob – sitting around doing very little at all. My daily routine consists of getting up, showered, dressed, caffeinated. Then applying for permanent jobs, explaining to interviewed on the phone that while I’m not a mum, I’m great at my job. Then slobbing around feeling sorry for my motherless/jobless self.
The problem seems to be, that any jobs that are available, are aimed at mothers’. Part time jobs, that fit around taking the kids to school and picking them up again. Unfortunately, I’m not a mother. Even more unfortunately, it seems to mean that no one really wants to look at me twice.
Because naturally, you’ve got to have dropped a kid or two before you could possibly understand how to control a whole class of them.
I’m not a mother. I haven’t really got any close relations with kids. I can, however, transform a box full of pompoms and a couple of plastic bags into a fun and educational activity. I can make up stories on the spot, and I’m fan-fucking-tastic at hopscotch. And yet, no one seems to want to know what I can do. Everyone wants to know the answer to the dreaded question,
“So, do you have any kids of your own?”
No. I don’t. There’s no chance of me having to miss work because my kids are sick, and there’s no chance of me being late because my brat covered me in orange juice at breakfast time.
Being an un-mum, and wanting to work with kids, seems, apparently, bizarre to the majority of childcare employers that I’ve come across.
And so, I’m stuck convincing employers that I can do my job perfectly well, without having raised kids of my own. I’ve seen plenty of royally crap parents, and quite frankly – I’ve had more of a positive impact on some of the children I’ve taught, even for a short time, than their parents will ever have.
It’s unfair.. In fact, it’s worse than that – it’s discrimination. But how do you fight something like that? Unless someone says you’re not going to get the job they’re offering, because you’re childless – then you haven’t got a leg to stand on. And naturally, no one’s going to come right out and say it. Instead, it’s insinuated, it’s implied, it’s obvious. It’s ridiculous.
Sperm donors – apply here! :-)
