Have The T-Shirt’s recent post has inspired me!  With the dismal cloud of Christmas looming over us, I’m going to follow in her footsteps, and make a list for Santa!

This isn’t a list of presents I’m going to buy other people, nor is it a list of presents I’d like.  It’s a list of (mostly unrealistic!! things I would love to have for Christmas (if I had a magic lamp, and a totally hot genie)..

- I’d like a dressing room.  Yes, an actual room.  A whole, enormous room dedicated mostly to shoes.

- I’d like a disgustingly enviable collection of shoes, of which at least 60% should be made by Jimmy Choo or Gina.

- Obviously, I’d need a bigger house in which to accommodate my enormous shoe collection.

- I’d like two Shar Pei puppies, who would absolutely, definitely, not eat/bite/annoy my little bundle of fluff (that would be my erm, cat.)

- It would be wonderful to not be allergic to my little bundle of fluff, whom I love dearly, but brings me out in a bugger of a rash.

- I want an extra button in my car, which, when pressed – emits a deafening voice that says “Stop driving up my ass, you incompetent dickhead.”

- Oh, and another button which (somehow) bitch-slaps any incompetent dickheads (particularly those driving 4×4s, who seem to think they can railroad my car off the frigging road..)

- Screw it, I’d like a super fast, super speedy, kick-ass, midlife-crisis car.  I don’t know what kind…  A sexy, dirty-hot one! :)

- I’d like to actually want to give up smoking, let alone have the willpower to do it.

- I’d like to just be qualified to teach, now, without having to actually train to do it (obviously all the knowledge would be stored somewhere in my brain, without me having to learn it).

- I don’t ever want to see a child suffer.  I want all the children I teach to come to school in warm, clean clothes, after a good nights sleep and a proper breakfast. I want to see parents who actually give a shit.

- I want my own childcare business, with wonderful staff, and plenty of money behind it.

- And a great big stack of cash.

- I’d like the finances, and the guts, to travel the world.

- I’d like to put my old boss out of business, and be able to laugh a great big “fuck you, lady.” right in her face. :X (Yes, I realise that makes me a massive bitch, but she totally deserves it.)

- I’d like my best friend to just not make a massive mistake, and to either get married and have it work out, or not get married and be ok with that.  Either way would be quite satisfactory, thank you!  Oh, and if he has to get married, could I please not look like a total dickhead in my bridesmaid dress? Pleeeease?

- I’d like the prospective-mother-in-law to not be such a racist assbag.  Or, if that’s slightly impossible, to just come with a mute button, so I can stop her mouth making so much pointless noise all the time.

- I’d like to have a steamy, kinky threesome with Alan Rickman and Mel Gibson (I’m aware he’s an ass, but my God, I would totally violate that man).

- I want to no longer be reliant on medication, for anything at all – to be healthy, without help.

- I want to live in France, with a vineyard at the end of my garden, and a filthy-hot gardener with a tight little bum and some polished abs, to erm.. garden?

- I want a baby.  And for the other-half to actually want a baby. Now. Or at least in the next year or so..

- I would love multiple orgasms. On a daily, is not half-daily basis.

- I’d like someone to say ‘Thank you’ for working so hard to make a difference to childrens lives.

- I want gambling to just disappear completely.  It ruins too many lives.

- I want an apology from a whole host of people, and forgiveness from a whole host more.

- I want fifteen minutes with my Granddad, to tell him how much I love him, and to ask him if he thinks I’m doing the right thing.

- I want a Happy Christmas, this year, just once.  No tears, no arguments, no stress, no fuss.

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
- Burton Hillis.

- Oh, and I want a totally hot, six foot tall Santa to appear on my doorsteps on Christmas Eve, so I can sit on his lap and tell him what I really want for Christmas. ;-)
(That’s such a sordid fantasy, I know, haha).

What’s on your list?

Visit Have The T-Shirt – you’ll love her as much as I do (I promise!).

The money shot – arguably the most highly featured ejaculatory scenario in porn. What is it with this visual?

Men may enjoy seeing some scantily clad (if at all) Lolita kneeling before them while they shoot their load all over her submissive little face, but quite frankly – I don’t.

I’d love to say I have high enough morals to find this degrading, an insult to women. In reality, I just find it.. *yawn*.. boring.

Ms Naughty highlights that this is an opinion shared by many women:

They, like me, wonder why on earth a man would have fabulous sex for half an hour and yet withdraw at the last minute and masturbate to orgasm.

They, like me, can’t help but wince when they see the woman kneel before the man and smile subserviently at him while he deposits globs of semen in her eye.

They, like me, roll their eyes at all the worshipful fuss made over a few spurts of bodily fluid.

They, like me, wish they could see the man’s face as he reaches orgasm, because male facial expressions are primarily what most women experience when their man is in ecstasy.

So why are we still subjected to this scene in nearly every piece of supposedly erotic media?

It’s not the actual visual that I find stale and boring, it’s the notion that the money shot provides ‘closure’ for any pornographic sequence..

While the woman’s enduring carpet burn on her knees, smiling and licking semen from her lips (which have undoubtedly been subjected to infinate amounts of botox), I can almost visualise her thoughts..

“Thanks. Wait! What?!?@#!? That’s it? Are you fucking kidding me?”

And there we have it – the male orgasm remains the be-all-and-end-all of even modern porn movies.. It’s over, as they say, when the fat cock shoots.

* Link to Ms Naughty’s blog post.

I came across this post whilst browsing my WordPress tags.. It documents this post, where a white male talks about his first dating experience with a black female.

He describes how people reacted to them walking down a street together – ‘examining us for clues” [re: why they're together] – and how these reactions would differ from black males and black females. He clearly views the relationship between them as ‘out of the norm’, by not only blogging about it, but by documenting it as a ‘novel’ experience.

Why should he be suprised that other people stare, viewing the partnership as ‘unusual’ – when he does so himself?

It’s sad to think that an adult would embark on a relationship with someone who they view as ‘different’, whether that be by culture, religion, race or background – just for the experience of it. Just for the “I’ve nailed a black woman” notch on their bedpost..

Moving on from this point.. The post in question repulses me, reducing the memory of this man’s sexual relationship with a black woman, to ‘the contrast between the white jizz and black skin’:

After a while we barebacked raw dogged it (thanks, roosh) and the money shots were incredibly stimulating for me. I loved how aesthetically pleasing was the contrast between the white jizz and the black skin. Like modern art, the geometric arrangement and bold ejaculatory strokes set against the dark canvas of her smooth skin prompted me to admire my handiwork like I was pausing in front of a particularly abstruse painting in a museum to contemplate its majesty. Plus, it made finding the mess easier for cleanup.

Embracing the differences between ourselves and other people is one thing – but to degrade those differences into something so crass, is just repulsive.

The author of that post, in my opinion, is a fine example of the type of person who helps to define mixed-race relationships as socially deviant. I would be very interested to know whether he was interested in this woman as a person – or whether he wanted her because she was black.

Just to clarify – I don’t think this man is racist, I don’t think he necessarily disrespects women. I just think he’s an idiot – responsible for degrading the woman he blogs about, by using her race to define her before anything else, and by reducing her down to one thing – the first black woman he nailed, as though he had fulfilled his quest.